There are MASSIVE changes going on rn...

...in my reality. 

I know it to be true that I am not the only one experiencing the confusion, the upgrades, the tears and anxiousness, followed by outbursts of joy and relief....

it doesn't matter the order you experience it in comparison to mine...what matters is that energy is real and we and all things are made of it.

just like there's chaos for the sprouting seedling that is planted under the nourishing soil before it shoots through the ground and becomes a sweet new long-stemmed leaf, there is chaos that you and I experience ON THE DAILY in various degrees.

Our bodies are so fucking smart. and unique.

we self-heal. Have a cut? watch that shit heal up in a couple days.

Break a bone? watch that shit heal after wearing the cast, resting and staying off of it.

Have anxiety, trauma, PTSD? Watch that shit heal up after tending to it, nurturing the soul, feeling all the feelings, asking for help, and processing through with an open heart and full trust that whatever is happening right now is meant to be happening.

If something else were supposed to be happening...it would be happening.

So, right now I'm journeying A LOT with my solar plexus.

I am entering a new phase of life, a new way of being, moving, eating, relating, creating, conversing, listening...BEING...and what I really wanted to write for comedic relief was and it's REALLY KICKING MY ASS but to be quite honest, 

it isn't.

Yes, there are periods where I'm in deep physical pain and I'm on my hands and knees crying out to all my angels and ancestors to please help me and tell me what to do because I have nothing right now.....

....and then the help literally comes because I take a deep breath and try to calm and expand my heart by focusing on the amount of air I'm allowing into my lungs and filling my body with love and light and space as I breathe...

The language of this universe is MOVEMENT. 

We can set all of the manifestation spells in the world and ask for more money, new love, expansive opportunities, and whatever else your heart fucken dreams of...and if you don't apply any action toward it, nothing will happen.

This is not, set the spell and then ACTIVELY go try to make it come true.

This is, SET THE SPELL, thank it. Ask it what are some first steps you can take toward receiving this goal in the physical and then you go from there and baby step that thang...

THERE IS NO RUSH AND YOU WILL NEVER RUN OUT OF TIME.

Your time here is your time here. Be happy NOW. Be free NOW. Be all the things you want to be in this moment because that's really the only reality. Now is now. Now is it. Now is not then or after. Now is literally now. 

From Now, you have the power to control your "and then".

I made some pretty substantial breakthru's in the past couple days (hours really) just by going slowly, breathing, and still doing what I would normally be doing (working on sewing commissions, reading, journaling, going on walks, etc) and I'm making a point to CONSCIOUSLY notice when the voices of self-doubt and literally the voice of my mother internalized as my own comes through and attempts to shake things up.

THIS IS WHY I SUGGEST THAT YOU MEDITATE.

When you sit in silence with yourself and your breath, you LEARN those voices. Whose are yours, whose are your guidance system, whose are your teammates, whose are your mother, whose are your father, whose are society, whose are whose.

Because then, when you get up off the floor from your lotus pose and go through your day, you will take that calm and silent mindfulness into your activities, noticing when some decisions are harder than others to make, noting when you feel hesitation, or tightness, or stress, or overwhelming, or joy, or ease....Because you will have an ear on those voices that bring the thoughts that cause the emotion.

E-MOTION is ENERGY--IN MOTION.

The ones that keep you scared and stagnant doing the same work you know you don't want to be doing will be LOUDER AND CLEARER when you're ready to jump ship and go in the true direction of your hearts desire!

We sit in mediation because it feels good to connect truly to oneself (to KNOW THYSELF) and we sit so that in times where things get wobbly in our outer reality, we can tune right back in so easily to the self and execute the perfect moves to sidestep anything you don't need to experience this time around.

It's all an ongoing cycle. Whatever you're struggling with is actually the gift you were sent here to share.

I came into this world a sweet shining ball of light with ancient knowingness and the events of my life lead me to doubt my abilities, question my worthiness, wonder if love was real, fear money, abuse my own body and submissively be abused by others...only to come back around to being the strongest I've ever been with the truth, knowing, and full belief in myself and that I am worthy of being simply because I be.

That knowing ALONE came from tapping back into my own heart to learn what's inside and to really dig in and scoop out all the grimy mucky shit that I put there to protect myself from hurtful people and situations. 

You really gotta know you. No one will be proud of you or praise you like you because YOU are really the only one who knows what the fuck you went through. You know the voices. YOU know the torment. YOU know the ups and fucken downs that it took to get through the days, so be FUCKEN UNAPOLOGETICALLY PROUD OF YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU SURVIVED!

If you're reading this, you fucken survived. You are not dead yet and neither am I.

WE ARE SO YOUNG and we have so much fucking life to live!

ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE HAPPY! this isn't a fucken rat race.

DO NOT let the internet fool you into believing that shit happens INSTANTLY.

YES, it FEELS like it, but best believe there was a whole bunch of momentum behind it to make it physically appear before you.

SO, the language of this universe is movement. action.

Set your spells, ask, and fucken make a move. Spirit handles the rest.

To this I say, 

THIS IS WHO I AM/I Will Never Be This Person Again.

Happy evolving <3

xx